Tempt Me Read online

  “Thanksgiving,” he said.

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s about family. I like the traditions. You’ll see this year.” He squeezed her hand more tightly and a little pang hit her in the heart.

  Because they’d be his family traditions and she’d be the outsider looking in. Just as she’d always been. The nanny to his daughter, not his girlfriend or someone with meaning to him beyond her paid role. Of course, she was sleeping with him, but that didn’t count.

  She bit her lip hard to distract herself.

  “Mia? I asked your favorite holiday.”

  “Oh. It’s too hard for me to choose,” she lied.

  She did her best to get through them all. She didn’t love any one in particular, because she didn’t have wonderful memories associated with them like he did.

  He came to a halt, pulling her to a stop when she kept going. She took a few steps back toward him. “What’s wrong? Why are we stopping?”

  He smoothed back the hair the breeze had blown onto her cheek and she trembled at his touch. “I’m an insensitive ass.”

  She blinked up at him, not understanding. “Why would you say that?”

  He shook his head. “You go through life so happy. You insist you had such a good childhood that it’s easy to believe you and forget… you were in foster care. No matter what you tell the world, it couldn’t have been easy. Holidays had to have been hard. And I’m an idiot for not realizing that before I asked that question.”

  A sudden lump rose to her throat, one she wasn’t used to feeling, because like he said, she did go through life happy and mostly grateful. Grateful her life hadn’t been worse. That good people had taken care of her. But they hadn’t been her parents and nothing could make up for that fact. She just rarely let herself think about it… or remember.

  “How did you figure me out?” she asked.

  A sad smile lifted his lips. “Oh, I caught your tone of voice. And I know your heart and how hard you try to convince people everything is always great.”

  “It usually is,” she muttered, not wanting to fall apart in front of him. “And that wasn’t an insensitive question. And to be honest, I guess it would be Thanksgiving, too. Because it’s the season of giving thanks. I’m grateful for the ability to always look on the bright side.”

  He tipped her head up with his hand beneath her chin. “You’re a special woman, Mia Atwood.”

  “Thank you.” She forced a smile, unnerved by something he’d said, buried in the speech about how well he knew her.

  He said he knew her heart.

  He couldn’t. Or he’d know she was falling in love with him.

  * * *

  Back at the cabin, Austin sat in front of the fire. He kicked his feet up on the large ottoman in front of him and stared into the flames.

  He couldn’t shake his conversation with Mia. How had he never realized how deeply her past affected her? He’d caught the wistfulness in her voice and had immediately realized so much about this warm, loving woman. She gave to everyone without thought to whether or not she’d get back in return.

  He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated there was nothing he could do to change what was missing in her life. Nothing but… show her how special holidays could be by sharing his with her. He looked forward to that.

  Before he could think further, his cell rang. “Reality intruding,” he muttered. A glance at the screen and he was right. “Hey, Dante. What do you have for me?” he asked.

  “Your ex is involved with a guy who’s heavy into drugs. And considering the guy he met up with last time I tailed him? He’s probably into dealing, too.”

  “You just earned a bonus,” he said, beyond pleased. “Tell me you recorded something.”

  “Photographs. Nothing that’ll help you with your ex. Yet. But I’m closer.”

  Austin blew out a deep breath. “Thank God for small favors. What about info on Parker Alexander?” he asked as Mia walked into the room.

  Her eyes opened wide at the mention of her former employer.

  He held up a finger, telling her to wait while he gathered details.

  “Unfortunately, he lies low. According to my partner, he doesn’t meet with anyone, stays holed up in his apartment. I can’t get to his phone or computer, so I’m stuck unless he leaves the premises and we can tail him.”

  Austin shook his head and frowned. “Stay on it,” he told the other man.

  “Will do. More when I have it.” Dante disconnected the call.

  “No news?” Mia asked as Austin placed his phone on the leather ottoman beside his opened computer.

  “Half and half.” He told her what Dante had found out about Kayla’s current boyfriend. “So I’m hoping to tie her to drugs and get her out of Bailey’s life once and for all. As for your guy… I’m sorry. Nothing yet.”

  He patted the couch beside him and she eased in next to him. He felt the warmth of her body and his dick growing hard. It didn’t take much for him to want her. A look, a glance, a touch.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll find something to prove Alexander is behind the break-in,” he assured her.

  “I hope so. It’s unnerving to think I have to testify with him sitting across from me, knowing he’s willing to go pretty far to scare me off.”

  He pulled her into his arms. “My guys are good—” Before he could go on, the video chat on the computer he had open in front of the sofa interrupted them with a ring.

  He shot Mia a regret-filled glance before looking at the name on the screen. Mia scrambled out of his embrace and the screen viewing area, and though he understood why, he felt a pang of regret as he hit accept.

  “Bailey Button!” he said as his daughter’s little face showed up on the screen. She had high pigtails on either side of her head, obviously courtesy of her grandmother, and she grinned, her missing teeth making him smile. “I miss you!” he said.

  “I miss you, too, Daddy.” She sounded funny and a deeper look showed him her eyes were glassy.

  “What’s wrong, princess?” he asked.

  “I have a cold.” She treated him to a big, deliberate sniff. “And Grandma says I have temperature.”

  His heart squeezed as it always did when his daughter got sick.

  “And I miss Mia,” Bailey said on a whine.

  He couldn’t help but grin. He extended his hand to Mia, out of screen view.

  She didn’t take it, but she slid closer so she could be in the screen area. “Hey, Bailey. You don’t feel well?”

  Bailey shook her head. “I miss you,” she said again.

  “Me, too.”

  Austin had an easy fix for what ailed her. “How about a visit when I get back?”

  She perked up, smiling at his suggestion. “Okay, Daddy. Bring Mia, okay?”

  He laughed at the expected request. “Okay.”

  Bailey took a long sniff and Austin frowned. He hated that she was sick and he wasn’t there to take care of her. “Hey. I bet your grandma would give you orange juice if you asked. And I’m also betting grandmas give the best hugs to make you feel better.” She smiled, forcing Bailey to grin back.

  “Grandma! Can I have orange juice?” Bailey yelled, causing Austin to wince at the decibel level she reached.

  “Let me talk to Grandma, kiddo.”

  Another yell and his mother’s face appeared in front of the screen.

  “How high is her fever? Did you call Dr. James? I can be home in two hours if she needs me,” he said, already thinking about what he needed to do to clean and lock up the cabin. The idea had been in the back of his mind since realizing Bailey was sick.

  “Oh my God, Austin. You’d think I didn’t raise a child myself!” his mother chided him. “Bailey has a cold. Her ears don’t hurt, her throat doesn’t hurt, and she’s got 100.1. Barely a fever. If it’s not gone tomorrow I’ll make an appointment. No reason to rush back.”

  “Okay,” he said, relaxing and easing back against the cushions. It was an instinctiv
e reaction to worry.

  Just as he worried now about the fact that Mia hadn’t taken his hand. He didn’t understand and wondered what had happened in the few minutes that had caused her to back off.

  “Grandma, orange juice,” Bailey said to his mother.

  “Please,” Austin and Mia automatically said at the same time.

  He grinned but she didn’t smile in return. He shot her a curious look, wondering what was wrong.

  “We’ll be home tomorrow anyway. But I need you to keep Bailey for a little while longer. I hope we’re close to wrapping up at last one of the problems,” he said, not wanting to mention Kayla in front of Bailey and upset her.

  “Okay, say bye to Daddy and Mia,” his mom said.

  “Bye!” Bailey said.

  “Feel better,” Mia said.

  “Love you,” Austin added.

  No sooner had the screen gone blank than Mia rose and walked across the room. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “I’m just a little tired. I thought I’d lie down and take a nap.”

  Considering he’d woken her during the night, her explanation made sense. He believed her… up until she headed for the room with her suitcase and not his bedroom in order to lie down and rest.

  * * *

  Mia stretched out on the bed she’d yet to sleep in and stared at the ceiling. She knew she’d overreacted and hadn’t made any sense to Austin, not when she’d refused to take his hand or when she’d chosen this room in which to nap. She’d caught the surprised look on his face when she hadn’t gone to his bedroom to lie down.

  What could she say to him though? That when he’d held out his hand, out of sight from his mother and Bailey, she’d been smacked in the face with the reminder that their relationship was a secret? Would remain a secret? That she wasn’t his girlfriend and she shouldn’t be spinning ideas about the future just because he’d held her hand when they walked through the woods? Or talked about him sharing the holidays with her and her seeing his family traditions? Or how incredibly intense sex with him just happened to be?

  She raised her head, punched the pillow, and turned onto her side. Although she couldn’t rationalize all of his actions, like the hand-holding in the woods, she could, however, justify why he’d keep their joined hands out of view of his daughter. Bailey was used to Mia as her nanny. Seeing Mia hold hands with her daddy would only confuse her… and maybe even cause the little girl to spin stories of her own, thinking they were more of a family than was accurate or true.

  With the weekened ending soon, it wasn’t too soon to start putting her own walls back in place. And if Austin pushed her for answers on her withdrawal… well, the truth would suffice. Because she had no doubt he didn’t want a relationship in the true sense of the word. And she was at risk of losing her heart to the man. The same heart that warned her she already had.

  Mia didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until she woke up to a knock on her door. She rolled over. The sun had gone down and the room was dark, no light from the windows streaming through.

  “Come in!” She pushed herself upright in bed.

  Austin opened the door. “Light,” he said before he hit the wall switch and the nightstand lamp turned on.

  She blinked, her eyes adjusting. He walked into the room, having changed into his favorite relaxing outfit, a pair of black track pants and a random tee shirt. Today’s said Alpha on the front… and Security on the back. He always looked sexy, especially now, with wind-tousled hair he hadn’t combed and a worried look on his handsome face.

  “Sleep well?” he asked, stepping inside.

  She nodded. “I guess the fresh air really hit me hard.”

  He settled on the edge of the mattress, leaning an arm near her hip and taking her hand in his.

  His palms were warm as his fingers wrapped around her hand. How did she feel such a simple touch throughout her entire body like she’d touched a live wire?

  “I’d like to know what changed,” he said, his eyes locking onto hers, not letting her escape his probing gaze and the questions he had. “You froze up during that phone call and rushed to sleep… not in the bed we shared last night.”

  She sighed, having anticipated his directness. Austin was a straight shooter. “It’s just… I was reminded of my place,” she said, choosing the simplest explanation.

  “Your place.” His brow furrowed. “I definitely don’t understand.” And he still held her hand tightly in his.

  She swallowed hard and curled her legs beneath her. She gathered her courage before speaking. “If I’m going to continue to be Bailey’s nanny, I can’t also be sleeping with you on the one hand and a secret we need to hide from everyone on the other.” She couldn’t emotionally handle it.

  Sex with him had taught her she wasn’t equipped for a casual fling. She’d never meant to send him mixed signals, leading him to believe an affair was okay with her when it wasn’t. There was no way she could have anticipated the total way he’d taken over her mind, her thoughts, and her heart after she’d gotten involved with him.

  “It was amazing, Austin, but we can’t have an affair and expect life to go on as normal. We both want different things for our futures. It’s best to admit we got it out of our systems and go forward the way we began. As employer and employee.”

  He stayed silent and she couldn’t read him.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought I could do casual but apparently it’s not in my DNA.”

  Not that she really knew what was in her DNA. She barely remembered her parents, but sex for the sake of sex apparently wasn’t part of her genetic makeup.

  He stared at her for a good, long while, and if she didn’t know better, she’d think she’d hurt his feelings. But he couldn’t be hurt. That would mean their time together meant something special to him and that would leave her thinking he wanted more. Thoughts she couldn’t afford to have. Besides, if he was hurt, if he wanted more, he’d tell her and not let her end things.

  “I have to respect your wishes,” he finally said, letting her hand slip out of his.

  She felt the loss, an icy grip taking hold of her heart. “I appreciate that.”

  He studied her, a frown on his face. “Just so you know… it’s not out of my system,” he muttered. “You’re not out of my system.”

  He wasn’t out of hers, either, but it was better to pretend that he was. No way would she admit to him that her biggest fear had been getting attached to him—and she had. And of falling hard for him—and she’d done that, too.

  * * *

  The next morning, the car ride home passed in uncomfortable silence. Austin knew he should behave better but he was pissed. Pissed their weekend had blown up in his face and pissed that he understood why and couldn’t change it.

  He could promise her exclusivity while they were together but he couldn’t offer her a future, and if she couldn’t handle that, then she was right. Ending things now was the right thing to do. And he’d fucking have to get over it so he could treat her like his daughter’s nanny and not the woman he’d had in his bed. The one he wanted to keep there. But no matter how deeply he cared for her, and he had no doubt that he did, he couldn’t bring himself to think beyond a casual affair.

  He had a bad history with his ex. Hell, he had a shitty present, and he needed to work on making that issue go away for good. And then he had to focus on raising his daughter. Marriage, family, more kids… were not in his future. And that’s what Mia wanted. It’s what she deserved after growing up without those ties and being alone for the better part of her life. He couldn’t give her that. He was finished with serious commitment other than his child.

  It would help if he could bring Bailey home sooner as a buffer between them… and wasn’t that a crappy way to think. Bailey was staying at her grandparents’ until both threats—her mother and Mia’s former employer—were neutralized.

  Despite the long trip home, he decided to drop off the bags and head straig
ht to his parents’ to see Bailey. Mia agreed with the idea and they made the hour-long trip. True to his mother’s prediction, Bailey was already feeling better and bounced around them the entire time they were there, chatting and making them laugh with her crazy stories and antics.

  Then it was time to return home and the uncomfortableness between Mia and Austin returned and continued over the next few days.

  Mia holed up in her room and Austin spent time in his home office. He busied himself with paperwork for Dan and Alpha Security, conference calls, and scheduling and generally kept busy.

  Not that he ever stopped thinking about Mia and the look on her face when she’d ended things, telling him she was reminded of her place. That had hurt him. He’d never want her to feel like an outsider in his life, but unless he let her in, went public with the relationship, called it serious, that’s what she was.

  Fuck.

  He ran a hand through his hair, finding it difficult to get back into his work zone. Thankfully, his cell rang, giving him something else to focus on.

  He answered, “Rhodes.”

  “It’s Dante and I finally have something solid.” He went on to detail information that was going to guarantee Austin custody of Bailey.

  It was the first good news of the day and he intended to make use of it. He headed to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of scotch, taking a long sip, the burn feeling as good as the sense of relief filling him at the thought of keeping his child and banishing her unworthy mother from her life for good.

  “Hey. Are you okay? Drinking during the day isn’t like you,” Mia said, joining him and leaning a hip against the counter.

  His gaze dropped to the dip of her sweater, the swell of her breasts, and he swallowed a groan. His one-track mind when it came to remembering how her sweet pussy felt around his cock wasn’t going to help him treat her like an employee. Hell, she didn’t just work for him, she was a friend. More than that, but right now she was someone he wanted to confide in.

  “I got good news, so consider this like a celebration.” He raised his glass.

  “Care to share?” she asked. “The information, not the drink,” she said, laughing.