Dare to Desire Page 12

  “Alex, please,” the unknown female said.

  “Go away.”

  The only woman Madison could imagine him speaking to that way now would be—

  “Rachel, I believe me not returning your calls speaks for itself.”

  Madison closed her eyes, needing a minute to pull herself together to deal with this situation. She was facing the other woman who had meant something to him once. One he was still angry with and bitter over. Did that translate to him still having feelings for her? Nausea kicked in hard. She rubbed her hands against her own skirt, hoping she didn’t look as nervous as she suddenly felt.

  “I just need a few minutes of your time,” Rachel said.

  “I’m busy.” He immediately pulled Madison closer to him. Today, his gesture of possession didn’t feel as warm or intimate as it had last night. It felt necessary, like he needed to prove to this woman that he had moved on.

  But had he? That was the question, and Madison suddenly felt chilled despite his body heat close beside her.

  Madison swallowed hard. “Alex, go ahead. See what she wants.”

  “Anything you have to say, you can say to us both. This is Madison—”

  “Evans. I admire the work you’re both doing with the Thunder.”

  Madison narrowed her gaze. How did Rachel know about her?

  “How do you know what we’re doing?” Alex asked before Madison had the chance.

  “I have a proposal for you, and before I put it together, I had to know what I was up against.” It was hard to know if she meant in business or his personal life, since she looked Madison over before settling her stare on Alex once more.

  “How did you know where we were?” he asked.

  “You weren’t answering your cell—”

  “A number you shouldn’t have had either.”

  “I have sources. Anyway, I called the Thunder front office and asked how to get in touch with you. I’m based in New York. I have been since graduation. When they said you were here in the city, I managed to get the hotel name and decided I’d come to see you in person. I was on my way up to your room.”

  Neither of them asked how she’d gotten her hands on that. She’d already said she had sources.

  “You can talk in front of Madison,” Alex said. His frown didn’t ease, and his entire body was stiff beside hers.

  Madison shook her head. “No. You go hear what Rachel has to say. I’ll meet you at our meeting.” She stepped out of his embrace and away from his touch.

  “Madison,” he said on a low, unhappy growl.

  She moved, putting a hand on his shoulder and whispering so only he could hear. “It’s called closure, and something tells me you need it. Go hear her out.”

  Alex grumbled, arguing until he realized she wouldn’t give in. “Fine,” he muttered.

  Madison walked away, her stomach in knots, her heart thudding painfully against her chest. But she had no doubt she’d done the right thing. Rachel’s actions had defined Alex’s entire adult life. He needed to come to terms with her rejection. Not to mention, he needed to hear her proposal now and process it alone, without Madison there to cloud his judgment or, heaven forbid, provide him with guilt should he still respond to the attractive woman from his past.

  If Madison wanted a future with Alex, and God help her she did, she needed him free and clear of his past and his demons. And free of whatever grip Rachel still held after all these years.

  * * *

  Alex sat down in the hotel restaurant across from Rachel. He didn’t want to be here. He had no desire to sit across from the woman who’d broken his heart and talk about anything. And if he had to be here, he preferred Madison be by his side. He didn’t like the look on her face when she’d told him to go with Rachel.

  He ordered coffee and an omelet and waited for her to do the talking. For his part, he had nothing to say. In the ensuing silence, he studied her, noting she’d aged well. Her brown hair was shorter but suited her features. But looking at her now, nothing stirred inside him. Not desire, lust, or even mild wanting. To his amazement, he didn’t even feel regret for what might have been.

  So why the hell are you so angry? a voice that sounded too much like Madison asked.

  Pride, his own internal voice answered. Rachel had hurt his pride by breaking up with him because the life he’d offered wasn’t good enough for her. He hadn’t been good enough for her. Now? He didn’t give a shit.

  “Okay, let’s hear it,” he said, giving in and breaking the silence. “What’s so important that you had to track me down here?”

  “How have you been?” she asked.

  Great. She wanted to make small talk. “I’ve been wonderful. Drafted, MVP, fantastic career until I got knocked in the head a few too many times. But I’ve got a new career path, and all’s well.” He folded his arms across his chest.

  She pinned him with her knowing stare, still silent.

  He bit the inside of his cheek. “How have you been?” he asked in return.

  She smiled. “Fine, thanks. I moved to New York after we graduated. I got a job with an entertainment firm and worked my way up the ladder. I married a Wall Street guy. It was good until it wasn’t. We were divorced last year. I made partner at my firm … and here I am.” She spread her hands out in front of her.

  Wall Street. “Well, you got the guy who wore a suit and tie and went into work every day in the same place, same state. Sorry it didn’t work out,” he said, surprised he meant it.

  “It happens.” She shrugged. “You know, Alex, I’ve always had one regret.”

  He found it difficult to swallow. “Yeah? What’s that?”

  “The way we ended. I wish I’d had the courage to tell you all along I didn’t have it in me to be the wife of a ball player. But we got serious so quickly, and because your family lived in Florida, I met them, spent time with them. That put a more intense spin on things. And I didn’t know how to get out of it by then.”

  She twisted the napkin between her hands, not meeting his gaze. “Honestly, while we were in school, I didn’t want out of it. But suddenly there was graduation, pro offers, and the draft, and you were proposing. I wasn’t ready for it.”

  “It’s not like you didn’t know I was thinking about it,” he said, reminding her he hadn’t exactly kept his feelings to himself. And she hadn’t argued with his ideas about how they could stay together.

  But she hadn’t offered any of her own either, he realized, looking back.

  “No. You were always up front. It was me. And I’m sorry.” She forced her eyes up to meet his. “I always regretted not being honest with you, with myself. I’ve carried that burden for years.”

  Despite the anger he’d harbored, he felt himself softening toward her. After all this time, did it really matter? They’d each gone their own way, lived their own life. She obviously wanted some sort of forgiveness.

  And Madison wanted him to have closure. He had to admit his chest felt lighter, having heard Rachel’s honest words. “It’s in the past,” he heard himself saying. “We should both let it go.”

  He’d always believed she wasn’t a bad person. That anger was about his bruised ego more than anything else, and he’d only let it fester and grow over time, infecting how he’d treated women and his ideas about relationships.

  “I needed to hear that,” she said. “And I actually think you mean it.”

  “I never say things I don’t mean.” That much hadn’t changed.

  “Okay then. If we’re back on friendly ground—”

  “I didn’t say we were friends.”

  She smiled anyway. “We’re not adversaries then. That should make my proposal easier for you to hear. Without that anger between us.”

  He ran a hand over his face. “Let’s hear it. I have a meeting in twenty minutes.”

  She smiled. “Like I said, I’m a partner at an entertainment company.” She handed him her card. “And we’re working with S&E Network. Sports and Entertainment Network
,” she elaborated. “They want to hire you for a sports show with Allison Edwards, the sports commentator. They’d like you to come in and test with her, but from the way they’re talking, if you want the job, it’s yours.”

  He blinked. A job offer was the last thing he’d expected from Rachel. Then again, he’d had no idea what she’d wanted.

  “It’s a great opportunity,” she said. “For one thing, it’s national. You’d be back in the spotlight, and we both know how much you liked to feed on that adrenaline and energy.”

  Even back in college, he’d enjoyed the attention and social perks that came with being a star athlete. He couldn’t accept anything from sponsors back then, but as his professional career had grown, he couldn’t deny he’d lived large and loved every minute.

  It helped keep the loneliness away and didn’t give him time to think about the things in life he’d decided he would never have, like a serious woman and a family of his own. He’d been so angry at Rachel he’d turned his back on so much, he realized. Things he now wanted and not with the woman sitting here.

  He shook his head, bringing himself back to the present. “Did you run this by my agent?” he asked.

  She shook her head and grinned. “He said you were being an ass and I should try to get through to you.”

  “He did not.” Although knowing Kevin Falcon and how pissed he was, maybe he had.

  “Actually, he said he’d like to mention it to you but not to get my hopes up because you weren’t entertaining offers these days—or returning his calls. After I said you and I went way back and maybe I could pitch it to you myself, then yeah. He did say exactly that.”

  Alex shook his head and laughed. “That bastard.”

  “Sounds like you’ve been giving him your share of grief.”

  He leaned back in his chair and nodded. “Could be.”

  “I’m sorry about that last hit. I know how much football means to you.”

  Alex stiffened. He didn’t want to get into his feelings with her. “Thank you.”

  “So about the offer, I can send something in writing over to your agent if you’re interested.”

  And wasn’t that the question. Was he interested?

  * * *

  Madison feigned interest in the interview with the Wall Street financial advisor they were trying to bring on board to meet with the players on a regular basis. Helping the guys with their finances from the beginning of their careers would teach them fiscal responsibility and remind them to think of the future when spending or not spending their often substantial incomes.

  She was able to give her speech to the man by rote, then she turned to Alex to bolster things with the personal touch, the story of a man whose career had been cut short and how good financial advice had kept him from being broke now. Because he hadn’t already blown through all the money in his bank account, he’d had time to think about his post-injury options without making decisions while in panic mode. Something they wanted the financial advisor to impress upon the players. Then teach them how to save.

  But her mind wasn’t on business. It was on what had gone on between Alex and Rachel at breakfast. Her head pounded, and the small, windowless conference room they’d rented for the interview didn’t help. She felt as if the walls and her life were closing in on her. Although she hadn’t seen any sexual interest in Alex’s eyes when he’d looked at his one-time girlfriend, his remaining anger told her there were still feelings there. The thought hurt, but it was true.

  She’d had to give him the freedom to explore those emotions and work through them in whatever way he needed. She hadn’t seen a ring on the other woman’s hand, indicating she was, at the very least, not married. Which left all the other woman’s options open too.

  Madison’s temple throbbed, and she was grateful when Bill Akins spoke, ending the meeting. “Well, it was a pleasure meeting you both. I need some time to think about your offer. The travel involved will impact my family, so I have to run this by my wife before making any decisions.”

  “We understand,” Madison said, gathering her things and placing them in her larger purse.

  “And we look forward to hearing from you,” Alex told him. “Hopefully with a yes, you’d love to come on board.”

  The other man walked out and shut the door behind him.

  “Well, that went well,” Madison said. “Hopefully he’ll agree.” She hiked her purse over her shoulder. “I think I’m going to go back to the room and lie down. I have a headache.”

  “Can I get you something for it?” Alex asked, concern in his voice.

  “No, thanks. I’ll just go upstairs and rest.” She started for the door.

  “Aren’t you going to ask what happened at breakfast?” His deep voice and that question stopped her.

  As much as she wanted to know what had gone on with Rachel, a part of her dreaded the truth, fearing the other woman’s return would have to change things between her and Alex on some level.

  She swallowed hard. “Sure, I’ll listen. If you want to tell me.”

  “Madison.” Her name sounded on a low rumble.

  “What?”

  He held her gaze. “I didn’t think we played that way.”

  Uncomfortable now, she fiddled with her bag strap and laid the heavy bag on the table. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “Games. Distrust. I thought we were open and honest with each other.”

  She nodded. But her thoughts were slamming around in her head at a rapid pace. The one that stuck out was her biggest weakness. When she’d rekindled this relationship, the one thing she’d promised herself was that she’d be the one to walk away first. She’d meant it then. Now it would be that much harder, knowing how deeply she was already involved. But if she got even an inkling that Alex was still interested in his old girlfriend, she would gather her pride and walk away, head held high.

  She straightened her shoulders and met his gaze. “Fine. What happened with Rachel? I want to know.”

  “Finally something honest.” He strode to the door and turned the lock, taking her by surprise. He then settled into the big conference room chair and pulled her into his lap.

  “Alex—” She squirmed in his lap, but he held on tight. His body was warm and hard, his arms around her solid and safe. She wanted everything with him so badly. And she wanted him for a lot longer than a brief sexual affair.

  Somehow she’d given him her heart, and she feared he’d break it again. Whether he meant to or not. She swallowed a pain-filled moan.

  He eyed her warily, but he kept his hold on her firm. “You were right saying I needed closure. I realized all that anger I held on to was more about my bruised ego than hurt feelings. It embarrassed me to have given everything so freely and have her throw it all back in my face.”

  She wasn’t surprised he’d come to a revelation. She’d wanted that for him so he could let go of the past for good.

  “And Rachel,” he went on. “It turns out she’s always regretted that she didn’t have the guts when we were together to tell me how she really felt about my career and my future plans.”

  Madison managed a laugh. “Yeah, well, you’re a pretty tough guy to go up against when you want to be.”

  “I do try.” He grinned, a panty-moistening grin that had her shifting around in his lap. “I didn’t make it easy for her apparently,” he said, sobering. “She’d met my family by then, knew I was serious…” He shrugged it all off. “Anyway, I guess realizing it was more a question of my bruised ego than me nursing a broken heart helped me finally put it behind me.”

  Unable not to, she looped her arms around his neck. “I’m glad. Is that what Rachel wanted too? To make peace with the past?”

  He drew a deep breath, making all Madison’s nerves go haywire. “No. There’s more,” he said, confirming her fear.

  Madison stiffened. “She wants you back?” She blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

  “No! Not t
hat way!”

  She let out a long, relieved breath. Of course, if she didn’t want him back, there was something wrong with the woman, Madison thought, unsure if she should believe Rachel didn’t have a hidden personal agenda.

  Reminding herself Rachel had given him up willingly once before, she forced herself to focus. “Then what does she want from you?”

  “She works at an entertainment company that is partnering with Sports and Entertainment Network. They want me to test with Allison Edwards for a sports show. National TV,” he said, clearly still surprised by the offer.

  But according to the gleam in his eye, he wasn’t adverse to the idea. In fact, Madison guessed there was something inherently appealing about the exposure of a national television show to a competitive, driven man like Alex.

  “What did you tell her?”

  “She said I should take some time and think about it. I didn’t have to say much of anything.”

  “Are you going to consider taking the job?” Madison asked.

  The long silence that followed was answer enough.

  He tilted her chin up, his gaze soft on hers. The intensity in his dark eyes made it clear he didn’t find this any easier than she did. Which didn’t seem to help her frayed emotions, and brought her close to the edge of tears.

  He slid one hand to the back of her head, pulling her in close and kissing her. Not in the command-and-take-charge way that he usually did. He took his time, gliding his lips over hers and tracing them lightly with his tongue, back and forth, teasingly, before sliding inside. Whatever point he’d been trying to make was lost in the emotion of what should have been a simple kiss.

  It wasn’t.

  The banked fire always present exploded between them, and suddenly his mouth on hers wasn’t enough. With a moan, she shifted in his lap, reveling in the pressure of his swollen cock against her pulsing, needy sex.

  “Shit, Angel. You feel so fucking good. So hot,” he said, raising his hips in time to her movements.

  The hard bulge of his erection came into direct contact with her clit, and waves of pleasure swept through her body, but more frightening were the feelings of pure need and love that accompanied the physical rush. No, she thought, as if wishing the love away would change the emotion.